Monday, June 6, 2011

The Horror that is Shoe-Shopping

Maria in the search of new sandals

Enters shoe shop 1

Maria: Crap! All shoes here have a 2-inch heel. Never mind!

Enters shoe shop 2

Maria: $200 for a pair of shoes? NO WAY!

Enters shoe shop 3

Maria: Crap! All shoes here have a 1-inch heel. Never mind!

Enters shoe shop 4

Maria: Woohoo! Flat shoes! Okay, only 3-4 pairs, but still! Flat shoes!
Pair 1 - Too soft sole. Can't get fitted with a rocker. Doesn't work.
Pair 2 - Waaay too loose on my foot. Doesn't work.
Pair 3 - Okay, those are just ugly! Never mind.
Pair 4 - Those might work, but they're not terribly comfortable... I'll be back.

Repeat the above for the remaining 5 shoe stores in the mall - finally return to shop 4

Maria: Okay, pair 4 were the least horrible of all I found, and I really, really need new sandals! They've got to do.

Returns home - procrastinates going to the town hall for a couple of weeks. Meanwhile, the shoes are still in the bag from the store.

Maria: Right, okay I really need to get this done! Great, the town hall have actually entered the 21st century and I can apply for the authorization for a rocker online! Woohoo :D

Fills out the application. Under "why do you need a new authorization" writes, "Because my previous pair is 10 years old and literally falling apart on my feet."

Waits a couple of weeks for bureaucracy to run its course

Letter: Authorization granted!

Maria: Yay! Hang on... was that for a pair of shoes I own, or do I need to go out and buy some?

Searches closet - finds bag

That's right! Heh, I'd completely forgotten all about those!

Procrastinates for another week or two and then figures enough is enough

Phone: Ring-ring

Maria: Hello, my name is Maria. I need to get a rocker fitted on my shoes. I do have an authorization from the municipality. Can I make an appointment?

Stupid shoemaker insists on only being open while I'm at work. I end up having to take a couple of hours off to make the appointment.

Day of appointment

Maria: Keeping my fingers crossed they won't say I picked the wrong sort of shoes, because these are waaaay beyond the return policy!!! (Thankfully that's never happened yet - after 18 years I know which shoes will work and which won't ;) )

Appointment takes all of 5 minutes, with them making sure that they know it's the RIGHT shoe they have to put the rocker under and to do nothing about the left, because my right leg is shorter than my left anyway, so with the rocker, it all evens out.

A week or two later...

Door-bell: *doesn't work*

Door: Knock-knock.

Delivery-man: Hello, here are your new shoes. Please sign here.

Maria: Woohoo!!! New shoes!!! ... unfortunately, it is now September, and I won't be able to wear my sandals until next year.

... And this is why I hate shopping for shoes and always wear them until they are literally falling apart.

(For full disclosure, I'm currently waiting for the appointment (Thursday), so hopefully this year I'll actually get my sandals while it's still sandal weather!!! :D Don't ask me when I bought them though... *coughmarchcoughcough* )


Fru Sole said...

Bierkenstock online?
Flat sandals, no que, cheap?

Maria said...

Could be... jeg er generelt rigtig dårlig til at købe sko online, fordi jeg har så besværlig en pasform, så jeg vil helst prøve inden jeg køber... men det kunne være jeg skulle overveje det til næste gang.

Fru Sole said...

Jeg plejer at smutte forbi magasin og for lige at dobbelttjekke størrelsen, og så købe dem online :D (og så sparede man lige 400 kr...)

Maria said...

Hmmm... meget interessant idé!

Fru Sole said...

Elementært min kære Watson...